Ireland has been plunged into a period of national reflection following news that Cucho Hernández is set to miss a month through injury.
Candles are being lit in churches across the country, prayers are being said in households from Dundalk to Dingle, and the nation is daring to dream of a world in which Troy Parrott becomes undroppable at Real Betis.
The message is simple: get well soon, Cucho. Just not too soon.
The Colombian forward is one of Parrott’s main rivals for a starting spot at Betis, meaning his absence could provide the Republic of Ireland striker with a golden opportunity to force his way into the starting XI.
Naturally, nobody in Ireland would ever wish an injury on another footballer. That would be wrong.
But if Cucho could take his time getting back to full fitness, nobody would be particularly upset either.
“I’ve never been particularly religious, but I’ve three candles lit since the news broke. Troy needs us now,” said one supporter from Dundalk.
A nation turns to prayer
The news has reportedly prompted a surge in spiritual activity across Ireland, with even the most lapsed Catholics rediscovering their faith in the hope of giving Parrott a clear run at the Betis starting spot.
“My mother has put Cucho on the prayer list at Mass. She doesn’t even know who he is, but she knows what’s at stake,” said one Parrott supporter from County Mayo.
Others have gone even further, with some fans reportedly treating the situation as a matter of national importance.
“I was going to light one candle, but then I thought about the possibility of Troy starting three games in a row. I’ve lit six,” admitted one Dublin supporter.
The feeling across the country is that this opportunity simply cannot be wasted.
Parrott has become something of a national treasure following his goalscoring exploits for the Republic of Ireland, with his club career now attracting almost as much attention as the national team’s fortunes.
A run of starts in Spain could be exactly what he needs to take the next step.
And if a month without Cucho helps make that happen, the Irish public will reluctantly accept their good fortune.
‘Get well soon, Cucho’
Of course, there is a limit to how openly the nation can celebrate another player’s misfortune.
Officially, Ireland wishes Cucho a full and speedy recovery. Unofficially, there is a preference for a recovery that is neither particularly speedy nor likely to disrupt Parrott’s progress.
“Obviously, we wish Cucho a full and speedy recovery. But if he could maybe avoid any strenuous activity until Christmas, that would be great,” said one Irish football fan.
Another supporter offered a similarly heartfelt message.
“Get well soon, Cucho. Take all the time you need. No pressure whatsoever.”
There is also a growing sense that Ireland must do its part to ensure this opportunity is not squandered.
“We’re not asking for much. Just a few goals from Troy, a regular starting spot and absolutely no unexpected miracles in the Colombian medical department,” said one self-appointed spokesperson for the Irish nation.
Parrott’s time is now
Ultimately, Cucho’s absence means little unless Parrott takes advantage.
The Irish striker will need to impress when given his opportunity, with a month on the sidelines for his rival offering no guarantee that he will emerge as Betis’ first-choice option.
But for now, Ireland is allowing itself a little optimism.
The candles are burning, the prayers are being said, and an entire nation is keeping a close eye on team selection in Seville.
Nobody is asking for miracles.
Just a few goals, a few starts, and perhaps the odd delayed return to training.
Speedy recovery, Cucho.
Actually, take your time.
– Betis v Feyenoord markets – Wednesday, 20:00
*This article is a work of satire. Quotes attributed to public figures are fictional and intended for humorous purposes.*
